Not sure why but I am not tired. I am extremely grateful right now for my boyfriend helping me setup Extra Perk, for my wonderful friend KP hanging up the Extra Perk signs, and for my awesome desk aide/friend TH for buying the coffee for Extra Perk. It was so nice knowing that when I need help, it’ll be there. I really am blessed with the great people who I have in my life right now, and I could not imagine changing anything about them. I do complain a lot. Yet, honestly, I have nothing to complain about. My life is pretty good. Yes, I may not have extra money to spend–who does? I might need to work a lot to get what I want–who doesn’t? I have a supportive family, the best friends any one could ask for, amazing supervisors, and I actually enjoy my jobs.
Watching the ’Jersey Shore’ I have just learned a lesson in friendship: if Jenni and Sammi can put things aside and become friends, anyone can! Recently, I have been involved in some minor drama, but it has taught me that I cannot trust everyone. I knew that. And, yet, I only guard myself against the ones I care the most about. But, that is my new, new years resolution, I will not trust people unless I know that they are trustworthy. I have been having a great year, thus far and I will not let minor things upset me. I really have surrounded myself with mostly great people, and the ones that I have struggled to maintain or build friendships with are not worth keeping around. I love who I love and I am going to move on and not get dragged back to high school–even if it is by my own family.
You know, sometimes, I watch these music videos and think, “wow, that could easily be me.” but it isn’t. I want to look as cool as they do, yet now I stop to think.. “are they happy?” Famous people are surrounded by people that they meet through their career, and I am sure that there is no way to know who is there because they’d be there regardless of your status and who is there only because of who you are or where you can get them. I think I will be able to be happy living a normal life as an attorney. Yes, I would love to be able to act for a living–it has been my passion my entire life, but I have finally found happiness in myself so I no longer need to be famous to feel loved or wanted. You see, my sister chose finding boyfriends to make her feel loved and wanted; me, I became an attention-whore. I need it, I crave it, I would do almost anything for it. Now, though, I no longer need to have all the attention–not saying that I do not still love attention because I do. I just no longer NEED to have all the attention. (just most of it).
Oh, and since I still have to wake up in three hours I may head to bed. One side note is that I tried a new nutritional drink called “Reliv”. I had my first shake on Monday and I’m finding myself feeling better after taking one. Right now, it is probably a placebo-effect because I expect it to make me feel better, but I have done my research and have found a lot of promising information on it. I just hope that it can help me with my auto-immune issues (I am diagnosed with endometriosis and potentially have early onset MS, although I am too afraid to get a second opinion) At 23, my health is not where I want to it be and I am hoping that by taking a more active role in my health I may be able to protect myself from further development of these issues. Maybe I will keep you updated on my success with the Reliv shake, if you are interested. Or, discuss how I found out about my health issues.
Definitely more to come.
